Message to Tod

Hi Tod,

Its nice to see how at peace you are.

Thanks for listening to me Sunday night. The mind is a funny thing. I wonder sometimes why we continually get in our own way. (I have a monkey mind for sure). All of this, all of it, is in my own mind. My perspective on things changes, sometimes every day (thoughts of that person, are not that person). I wonder if I will ever know what the TRUTH was. It just seems so slippery

It’s funny how I know, I know that all I have to do is sit quietly in the moment. Yet, my mind insists that it can still fix things in the past. If I work it just right, if I find myself getting to a good place, I continually THEN to try and go back in. Firm ground, is firm ground. Nothing about jumping back into the quicksand helps stabilize me.

I watch the process, and each time I watch it, I get better at getting back onto dry land and staying there. Whew. Deep breath. Today is a really, really good day. Nothing to do, or undo.

I am working at trying to be a better listener, and not just a talker. I have hardly ever learned anything by talking. I know whatever I’ve gone through, and am going through, you’ve been there too. I want to hear more, when and if it’s not too painful to go back there.

It’s always really helpful to talk about it. You and Scribbly have been a big part of my healing, for no other reason than to just listen. I’ve been talking now for ….close to four months, and I probably should have started talking sooner. I think I am almost done talking. I know I’m done talking, and reasoning, and justifying circumstances, but I’m not done talking about the mind and it’s process. (FYI: I think Scribbly has some stuff that needs work. He hinted at it yesterday on our paddle. A beautiful day!)

Thanks again Tod.