How to survive an emotional crash

When you get on an airplane, they patiently explain to you how to find the escape hatches, use your seat as a flotation device, and use the oxygen masks should the deploy.

One of the first things they tell you about the oxygen masks is that you should first put you own on, before trying assist other passengers.

The same is true of emotional health. You cannot help someone else if you are not emotionally healthy.
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We are also the only people in charge of our own emotional health.

Psychology tells us that all emotions are preceded by a thought. How you think about something leads to an emotional response, and the only person in control of this process is YOU. When you choose to REACT, emotionally to someone elses actions, you are no longer in control, they are.

You can put this control in someone else's hands. This will inevitably lead to an emotional crash, due to loss of control, or lack of expected response.

You don't control anyone; they don't control you. You only control yourself. When you take back this control, you will become emotionally healthy. Discursive thinking leads to poor emotional responses, which leads to more thinking, and more emotional responses. the cycle spirals, and you will inevitably crash. Once started, you then make bad decisions or reactions, which lead to more thoughts and emotions. Wow, what a vicious cycle.

I put this control in other peoples hands. I trust, I expect they will act in a way that is in my best interest.

I expected some sort of closure from the last person who will ever be able to give it to me; I wanted understanding, I wanted emotional healing, and I wanted it for her too. That was wrong, to expect this, wrong to think we could give it to each other. I probably only stirred up her emotional pot as well, as that was not what I intended to do. I did not intend to hurt her again.

Peace.